CHORUS:

Oh, it's your birthday! I'm so thrilled!
I'm sure that today you won't be killed!
Or maybe overdose on prescription pills!
Or fall off a 10th floor window sill!


I'm so glad your mom had ya!
cuz it's hard for me to fathom,
that you don't look like your brother,
or your father for that matter,
he was on a business trip
so he missed the pitter patter
of his best friend's boots on the fire escape latter...

It would have been a shame if your dad managed to tame her,
cuz then you wouldn't be here, so no one's gonna to blame her!
just another test that the family overcame,
yeah, You got your dad's name when his best man came. Awwww....

I wanted to articulate that we're gonna celebrate,
the fact that he didn't just whip it out and masturbate,
He could have just jerked it and spurt it up on your mom's face,
Or jizzed on her tits or any other place,

but he's a man of morals, So no anal no oral,
got wild cream pie style up in your dad's girl,
and today's the day, it's the anniversary
of the night that you slided out that very pussay, HORRAY!

I'm glad you didn't stay all up in that womb,
Cuz then we'd be consumed in a labyrinth of gloom!
I presume that your presence is just about the essence
of the most immense success can be experienced.

Your appearance is so dear to your peers,
when you show up at a party we bout burst out into tears,
but believe me, it's not because we wish you'd leave,
but quite the opposite, we're just so glad you were conceived.

CHORUS

wait a second, you weren't hit by a car?
I'm relieved to receive the news that you've made it this far,
I'd be so bereaved if the driver were to leave you,
all marred and scarred on the side of the street...


you weren't shot up by a maniac while shopping at the mall
Didn't choke up on gum ball and you didn't fall
off the roof of something tall or down a stairwell,
or out a church tower while you were cleaning the bells...

Your hands are fine! How terriffic!
It's a fact that a freak accident didn't rip um
clean off your wrists, I'm glad nothing so horrific
happened to your digits while you were playing cricket

You didn't lick the skin of a deadly tree frog,
or get crushed up by a truck that was carrying some logs,
or get flogged to death by a wench from a park bench,
or beaten by a bully with a socket wrench.

You didn't pounce into a patch of poisonous plants,
and get all tangled in brambles and attacked by ants,
and then trampled by a group of some angry elephants,
and then mishandled while waiting for your face transplant...

Oh, and the plane you were in managed to land,
and you didn't get cut up by a rusty tin can,
And you didn't have a fatal reaction to pecans,
or get skin cancer, in fact you've got a really nice tan!

CHORUS